Many years ago, I was at a Christian conference where I heard Dan Allender, president of the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology in Washington, speak. I still remember the exact spot where I was sitting that day. These are the words Dan spoke: “Your whole story matters to God.” At that moment, something deep inside me shifted. My whole story matters? Even the dark and ugly parts?
It was such a startling awakening that I purchased a copy of Allender’s book To Be Told in order to read, digest, and process what he had said. I began to dig into and reflect on my full life story. I had the opportunity to share the highs and the lows of my story with a small circle of Christian friends. It was such a gift.
One evening during that time, Jay and I attended a mid-week church service where the senior pastor was teaching on sin and forgiveness. As he spoke, he said that we need to admit that we have sinned, agree that we have done evil in God’s sight, and ask God to wash us. Those words pierced my heart; tears streamed down my cheeks, and the darkness and heaviness of the hardest part of my story was washed away. I was able to forgive and fully accept that I was forgiven as well. The deep pain and sorrow felt on and off through the years were taken away from me that night, and it has never returned.
After that night on two separate occasions, I felt prompted to share the hard part of my story with another: once, with a mere acquaintance at a women’s retreat, and another time with a friend. My story struck them deep in their stories. In fact, both of them almost yelled out loud when I told them. My words connected to their souls so much that it hurt. Over time, it helped them to begin to work through the darkness of their stories and expose them to the light. God can use all the parts of our stories, both good and bad, to bring healing and restoration to others in the world.