Like many of you, I am tired of living in this global pandemic. I can’t believe that I am admitting this, but, yes, there have been times when I have lost my patience. I have tried my best to stay positive and make the best of this situation. Our family has played games, cleaned, organized, written letters, called family members, and participated in drive-by birthday parties. But at the close of the summer, I realize that I need more. I need some peace.
For me, the place that gives me the most peace is the beach. I feel closest to God when I am standing face-to-face with the majesty of His creation. The beauty of the beach overwhelms my senses, allowing me to focus on God. I like to take an early morning walk when I go to the beach. As I walk, I envision God walking with me. I have a conversation with God, and I pray, an easy thing to do when you are alone and taking in the beauty of the waves, their sound, the sky, the sand, the birds. The beach is my sanctuary.
Yet even in my safe place, I must admit to losing my patience. Recently on a visit to the beach, I decided on the very first morning to hit the shore early to see the sunrise. I thought that seeing the beauty of sun as its tip rose above the ocean, turning the sky into beautiful shades of orange, pink and red, would help to put me at ease. In anticipation of this glorious ritual, I awoke early and ran quickly out the door. I felt as if I were a child again on Christmas morning. As I ran down the path and arrived at the wide open expanse of sand, I looked past the waves toward the horizon. Then my heart sank with disappointment. Right where the sun should have been peeking over the ocean, I saw an enormous cloud.
Well, while I am not proud of what happened next, I suddenly felt a surge of anger. I became mad at God. All of the negative emotions of dealing with the pandemic came over me. I thought about how I miss hugging my mom, how I want my kids to be able to drive themselves to school for the first time, how I miss seeing the smiles on people’s faces, and how I want my children to experience all of the joys of their teenage years. Now, all I wanted to do was see the sun rise. But I couldn’t have that wish either—just another thing for me to miss.
I vented but decided to continue with my walk anyway, which now became more of a speed-walk. As I was basically racing down the beach, I saw something out of the corner of my eye: five pelicans, flying in line, right behind the waves, with their wings stretched out, the tips skimming along the top of the water. I stopped to watch them pass. How beautiful it was to see those creatures glide in unison! Next a large wave rolled across from right to left and crashed with a loud roar. Then I saw on the horizon a cloud that glowed bright orange, as if the sky were on fire behind it. That cloud was so beautiful. The juxtaposition of the cloud with the fire behind it and the resulting beautiful orange and yellow glow was breath-taking.
I should have believed in the beauty of the sunrise, even if I could not actually see the sun itself rise. There are times when we are so consumed by darkness that we miss what is right there in front of us. That beach morning, God gave me an amazing moment, a moment that reminded me how we all need to have faith in Him. We need to have faith even in something that we cannot see. Even in our dark times, we must have faith and know that God is with us. We are never alone. Such a faith is difficult to embrace in a time where a pandemic keeps us apart from one another, leaving us with a sense of loneliness. We must remember that God is with us always. While we may not be able to see the light in the darkness, it is still there. We must not forget God has promised that if we believe in Him and trust in Him, we are promised eternal life.
As I continued my beach walk that morning, I came across a message written in the sand: “I love Jesus” (with a heart drawn in place of the word love). What an amazing reminder that though we may be socially distanced, we are never truly alone!