We need to remember that honoring our fathers and mothers is a command from God. This commandment is the only one of the ten that also contains a promise: “. . . that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” As in several other scriptures, we are admonished that failure to give honor to our fathers and mothers is also a failure to give honor to God.
I believe our perspective on what it means to honor our fathers and mothers shifts as we move through our life stages:
- As children, we are taught to obey. We learn that even if we disagree with our parents, we should do what they ask of us. We learn to be courteous, polite, and respectful. We try to represent our families well and not embarrass our folks.
- As young adults, we can better appreciate and respect our parents for who they are, what they have taught us, and what they mean to us. Beginning our journey on the road toward independent living, we stay connected. As we mature and perhaps start our own families, we embrace our parents’ presence and their participation in our lives and in the lives of our children.
- As median adults, we seek ways to recognize all that our parents have done for us. It’s a special time to celebrate their life milestones and prize our parents for who they are.
- Some of us have the privilege of “returning the favor” of care for aging parents. We stay close to them, help them, and support them with love and respect.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about my mother. Last week was the 100th anniversary of her birth. As a child, when I returned home from elementary school, my mother would greet me with a snack. We sat at the kitchen table, and she would listen as I told her about my day. The phrase “quality time” was yet to be invented, but I think that’s exactly what our time together was. We solved no great problems or challenges. But I know her simple presence showed her love, made me feel secure, and gave me a sense of being valued for the person I was.
The snack? A cored and sliced crisp, juicy apple—that’s all. But to this day, please don’t give me a whole apple to eat. I much prefer a sliced crisp, juicy apple, prepared by someone who loves me—just as I am.