I remember sitting in my bedroom, looking towards the heavens, and simply asking God, “Why?” over and over again. The “Why?” question soon turned to tears, which then turned to anger. After a number of nights repeating this same scenario, I closed my heart to the Lord, at least for a time.
Our family’s house had burned to the ground. I was mad that God had let something like that happen to us. I wanted answers, and by golly, in my fourteen-year-old state, I felt that I deserved to have those answers immediately. However, the answers did not come in the time frame that I wanted. In fact, I still do not understand why our family lost nearly everything in that fire. While I might not have the answers I sought, I did learn a great deal from that experience.
I learned that being angry with our Creator is not always a bad thing. In fact, to be angry with the Lord reveals that we have a strong-enough relationship with God to be able to get angry with Him. In order to feel anger toward someone, a deep love must already exist.
I also learned that my anger led me into a deeper relationship with God. During that difficult season of my young life, I began to ask the hard questions of God that allowed me to move toward an understanding of who the Almighty is and who I was created to be. Those questions led me to answers that deepened my faith and allowed me to trust the Lord in new and powerful ways.
While we find ourselves in this unexpected season of COVID-19 and cannot always understand what is happening, let us learn these lessons: It is acceptable to feel anger with the Almighty, and this anger just might draw us into a new and deeper relationship with Him.