I have shared these words countless times—COUNTLESS TIMES—in worship services, in pastoral conversations with people who are broken and repentant, and so many times in the quietness of my own private devotions. They are tattooed on my brain, written in my heart, seared into my soul.
And yet, I can beat myself up better than anyone I know. I can do something, or say something, or refuse to do something, or nurse a grudge better than you, I bet. There are many simple little things, or bigger, grander things, historic things that I did—or did not do—YEARS ago that I have confessed. And I have repented from ever doing those things again. I knew then and know today that I am forgiven for all these sins.
But I can’t or won’t turn loose. I won’t forgive myself. And then, somewhere along the way, I hear God ask me, “Who are you NOT to forgive someone whom I have already forgiven?”
Then I have to seek release from my calcified heart, a heart that is so frustratingly self-reliant that it won’t let me accept and feel and bask in—BASK in—the sheer, amazing, astounding, steadfast, unconditional love of God. So I repeat 1 John 1:8-9 to myself again and breathe in the grace, mercy, and forgiveness of God, Who loves me more than I can ever imagine.