I tend to view myself and my actions from the worst possible perspective: when I see a police car with sirens and lights active going south while I am driving north, I begin to question whether I am driving too fast (I usually am), and I often second-guess my comments and writings with the belief that I have divulged heresy rather than theological truth. None of you want to know what happens to my blood pressure when an authority figure shows up in my office unexpectedly!
Yet I have a harder time admitting my sins before God. I know deep in my heart and soul that the Lord knows the places where I am wrong. As the Psalmist wrote, “I know my transgressions and my sin is always before me,” and that is a fact with which I am not truly comfortable. I try to be a good person. I aim to be one of the people who doesn’t stir up trouble, mostly because I tend to be a rule follower, but that doesn’t mean that I actually am a good person. More accurately, it doesn’t mean that I am not a sinful person.
Sin is not something that we can overcome simply by desiring that we not sin. As Paul wrote to the Romans, “For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Sin can only be overcome through the grace of God, which requires that we be able to admit that we are in fact not the people who we wish that we were. Whenever I read these words, I am reminded that I am not who I want to be. While most days I become a bit more in line with who the Lord created me to be, I will nevertheless fall short. Thankfully, God’s grace is much greater than all of my sin.